To Spain, From Romano
by face-catcher
Summary: I'd never say it to your face but... Thank you, I'm sorry, and, one day, I'll make it up to you Spain... I promise


**In case you didn't know:  
Espana/Antonio= Spain  
Veniciano/Feli=N. Italy  
Lovino=S. Italy/Romano  
Hetalia=Not mine**

* * *

C-Ciao, Espana

It's uh, it's Romano here...

Stupid bastard, I shouldn't have to tell you who I am you-

I...

Fuck...

This is-

...I'm so stupid...

I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry that I yell at you,

That I call you names,

That I hit you ,

I'm sorry I'm such a fat liar,

I'm sorry I wrecked you house when I was little,

And was the worst piece of fucking land you could have been saddled with.

I'm sorry that my little brother is so much better than me,

I'm sorry that Austria was too much of a priss to let you switch us,

And...

I'm sorry that I left you all alone

…

Fuck!

I don't get it

I just don't fucking get it

It shouldn't hurt this much,

It never hurts this much...

I am so used to everyone picking Veneziano over me

I'm not that stupid,

And I'm not blind,

I know he's better than me,

I know why everyone loves him,

And why everyone hates me...

…

Stupid tomato bastard, this is all your fault!

Your the only one that makes it hurt this badly

I know that much

But

I don't understand how.

It...

Hurt when grandpa Rome took Veneziano and left me behind

It...

Was stupid when every person that met him fell in love with the north...

And forgot the south even existed.

Worthless land

And a little bit of grandpa's inheritance

That was all I had

But, Feli, my little brother,

He had everything...

He had his art,

His literature,

His cute personality,

He could clean,

And cook,

And was,

...

Is

Impossible not to fucking love

And,

I can't do anything...

But, Spain

You...

You didn't...

There was something different about you

You loved my little brother,

You can't help it

But...

You remembered me

Ha

ME

Your stupid,

Selfish,

Good for nothing lanky...

You remembered me,

When my perfect,

Cute,

Loveable little brother was there

And you didn't kick me to the curb

You called me...

You still call me

YOUR Roma

YOUR little tomato

YOUR Lovi

...Dios I hate that name...

…

Spain... Antonio... Why...?

Why do you still love me?

Why do you love me at all?

I don't dare to hope, or dream

That you might choose ME over my brother...

Because I know that it hurts so much more to raise your hopes

On something so impossible

Than it is to deny everything you hope and wish for

And then be forced to believe it...

But I'll never believe...

Because it's not true

Is it?

You...

Left

for days,

months,

years at a time

Barely a drop in the bucket for a nation

But still too long...

But then,

Just as I convinced myself that I hated you

Just as I steeled my resolve

You came home with that big ass smile of yours

And shouted out "Bell, Roma, I'm home!"

And I came running...

Every time.

...

Did you know, I only hit you because it was the only thing I could think to do

To protect myself?

Because I didn't want to let you in?

So I forced you out,

I yelled,

And screamed,

And hit,

I called you names,

And damned you very existence,

I pledged my hatred to you,

But...

I went running to you

Every time

When I was scared,

Or lonely,

Or sad,

And,

Every time,

You were there for me...

I didn't realize how much work that must have been,

When I was small,

To juggle your work as a nation,

and your empire,

And putting up with me,

And my shitty attitude,

On top of everything...

How the hell did you do it?

How are you still doing it?

I declared my independence,

Left you for myself,

And my brother,

You shouldn't have to deal with me anymore...

But you still do

And...

I just...

(sigh)

I'm so sorry

And,

Thank you,

So much

Spain,

Espana,

Antonio...

For,

Instead of being another country to leave me

You were the first to stay

And I hope,

One day,

To, maybe,

return the favor...

…

But...

I'd never tell you that...

This'll just stay in my head...

And my heart.

And I'll try to tell you,

But then I'll blush and cuss you out...

So, while you will never know how I feel,

And what I think about,

At least I can be enough of a man to admit it...

If only within my own heart.

So,

Thank you,

Always, forever,

And a million years beyond that.

Your useless ex-lanky,

Italia Romano...

Lovino Vargas.

* * *

**I've been working on this for a really long time now and I just wanted to get it out there for y'all**

**I know I should be working on my other stories but this would not leave me alone so... ^^;**

**These are actually a lot of fun to write and I hope they're at least half as much fun to read!**

**I've decided that, my stories are gonna be kinda a free-for-all meaning y'all can take what happens however you want to, if y'all wanna look at it and say "This is a romance fic" Congrats: you're correct! Those of y'all who say "Naw man, that's totally a Friend/Family fic" then your right too so, it's up in the air for all to enjoy!**

**So, till my next update:**

_**Ja ne **_**(see you)**


End file.
